I detest growing close to Mike again, only because I know I shouldn't have to, I shouldn't have to keep reattaching my feelings to the same person over and over and over, knowing each time, I'm just going to have them betrayed.
My mom, this past Wednesday, gave the most hypocritical speech I've ever heard. She sat through a 13 year marriage with quite possibly the biggest asshole anyone will ever meet (also named Mike, but this is besides the point). She said Mike and I have to work it out for the kids, that they're getting emotionally abused in the process, I never take out my frustrations, anger, or depression on the kids, I bottle everything up until I know I can't take it, so for her, a woman who after her divorce sat there and further alienated her children emotionally and physically abused her youngest daughters, what makes her think I'm going to take relationship advice from a woman who still treats her children like shit even though she's been divorced for 4-5 years now. Now, I know I had made this post about her, though throughout childhood and even now, I've covered for way too many people and what they do. I bottle up a lot, and I know (from the years of therapy forced onto me) that it isn't good. Throughout her speech, my mom more or less said that it was okay for Mike to have put me through what he has, because my point to her was, "Now, why are there shelters for physically abused women, but nothing in the line of shelters for emotionally and mentally abused women, even though the scars from emotional abuse last long after the wounds from physical abuse are healed?"
I don't want to get close to him again, and have him hurt me, I'm done with being hurt, I'm through with it.