Breanius™

For the first time ever, I actually got an amount of sleep that I'm alright with. Which is amazing. I feel refreshed, especially after Computer Chair Nap Wednesday.

Mudvayne is definitely the ticket this morning. Yes, even though this blog post will be timestamped for afternoon, it is my morning, and it's barely started.

Wait, scratch that, Mudvayne and coffee. Really strong coffee. I need to get the house cleaned, party tomorrow, regardless of how many party goods we're going to be able to buy.

I absolutely adore my Anthony. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!!!!

Sidenote: Must update later, towards the end of the night.

It's my oldest son, Anthony's, birthday today. As of 3:59AM MST 6 years ago, I had officially become a mother to one of the most gorgeous little boys ever born. I miss him so much.

I'm so incredibly excited that I get to call him later, and wish him a Happy Birthday.

Anthony, if you ever come across this, I'll definitely update later sweetie, mommy needs some Serious Sleep. I love you, and I miss you.

On a sidenote, I've updated my Myspace layout, and I may change it again before the end of the month, standardized table layouts irritate me.

At this point, I'm too frustrated to lay down an actual blog post. I shall blog about my frustrations later, when I've achieved a clearer perspective, and am more rational within my thinking.

I've tried starting a new blog post at least 10 times so far today, each time I get distracted or end up crashing out in the computer chair.

I'm trying to get amped by listening to Rage Against the Machine, so far, it seems to be working.

I need to call Brian tonight, it is imperative that I do call him.

I want Halloween to be here NOW.

Alrighty. It is almost ten AM, and I'm pumped for today to start.

Much, much, much later.............


Had lunch with my mom, that went pretty well. I ordered a veggie omelet, Diet Pepsi, and wheat toast. Of course, I splashed the omelet with Cholula, and added apple butter to the toast. It was the best lunch I've had in months.

It's three days until the Halloween party, and I'm truly hoping everything goes awesome.

For some reason, I'm still feelin' stomach sickly.

I haven't felt up to much all day long, and I really just want a nap.

I also want the largest, strongest cup of coffee right now too.

Today's been good, woke up about an hour and a half ago, and so far it's been a chill morning.

I've been talking to Brian more, which can be good and bad. For reasons I won't get into.

Landlord came by yesterday to put plastic on the windows, and because our vacuum's broken, he let us borrow his, his only condition of bringing it over was that he was going to take it when he left, so I had an hour and a half to do a week's worth of vacuuming.

Is it wrong of me to feel utterly confused right now? About my life, about everything?

I'll update later, I need to lift the fog I'm in.

For all those who've been linked through Twittermoms.com, this will become my regular blog (until I get bored), so please stand by for actual blog posts.

I really just need to lay down a spot for a regular blog, and not blog hop. It's starting to get fairly confusing as to which blog I'm posting in, and for the first time ever, I've actually forgotten passwords and log in information.

Last night was quite possibly the best night of my life, I feel so incredibly validated. I won't let on too much to what happened or what was said, but it was all, very awesome. I realize I also use bold-faced font to emphasize my feelings way too much. I had to fight pressing CTRL+B to bold way too much.

I need to finish getting ready for the day, I'm not going anywhere, I just want to know that I look alright for whatever may happen today.

I can't wait to see weight loss happen, especially since the pants that I do have that are in good condition are back from when I was in high school. Those were the days.

If right now is any indicator, I'm going to be napping throughout the day, which ultimately means I should have slept more. This so sucks.

Alrighty, I'm sitting here again, wishing somehow a pack of cigarettes would materialize right in front of me. Maybe if I wish hard enough, it'll happen? *rolls eyes* Very doubtful, Brea. I hope somehow I'm able to obtain a few cigarettes from someone by the end of today, otherwise I'll go crazy albino Wyomingite on someone.

I realized this summer I need to get more proactive about the causes I believe wholeheartedly in. I'm sick of sitting by and watching what I believe in become less and less valid to me, all because I've gotten supremely lazy.

I need to clean the house, and find Nate's other shoe, because he goes back to school today (holiday on Monday, evaluations on Tuesday), and Szandor's early intervention coordinators come today, so I've got to make sure that the house looks semi-presentable, especially since I don't get any help from Mike when he does have a work day, which makes me feel like shit, because the past couple days he's worked closes I've said I was going to visit my youngest sister, which never pans out.

Speaking of cleaning and finding, I might as well get to it. I'll update later, if I remember to.

I'm totally trying to chill after the night I've had. It was a month and a half packed into 4 hours of crazy mindfuck overload. I just want today to be chill, but knowing my luck, it'll get worse before it gets better.

I've been up pretty much all night, I don't think it has anything to do with my marathon nap yesterday, or the fact that I've drank enough coffee to fuel Chernobyl, I think my sleeping patterns are messed up.

I finally got to see pictures of how Anthony looks now. He is so gorgeous, and you can bet I'm posting them to my TM photos. I'm still so happy I don't know whether to cry or hyperventilate from extreme happiness. I love Anthony, I miss him with all my heart, I need to hug him and kiss him. I just need him to be around me, so the hole in my heart that I feel now is healed. So I'm whole again.

I'll more than likely post another entry, I'm crossposting this to my main blog.